Dear Pre-Kid Friends,
We had so much fun. You’d text me, and an hour later we’d be grabbing burgers together. Other times we were making sure we had cash to help chip in on the pizza delivery bill when they brought it straight to the pool—where we’d spend all afternoon and evening hanging out. Sometimes we’d even stay at your place (or *gasp* mine!) until 1 or 2 in the morning—playing games, watching movies, or even just talking. Sadly, those days have come to an end.
Thank you.
For the first month after I had a baby, we lived in a very thick newborn fog. Thank you for coming to the hospital and visiting us. Thank you for coming to our apartment a couple of weeks after he was born to give us a “chance for things to have calmed down.” Thank you for not texting us or asking us to hang out for those first few weeks. We really appreciate it.
I spent the first 3 months of our son’s life chained to a breastpump. Thank you for being so considerate when I spent half of our time at a restaurant sitting in the car pumping. Thank you for letting me bring my pump with me when we came over to watch a movie and not making it weird for me. You guys are awesome. Thank you for not acting awkward when you sit next to/across from/at the same table in general when, now, I nurse my baby. Again, you are awesome!
Now here comes the tough stuff…
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry that when you wanted to go the movies at 7 pm that we had to say no because children under 3 aren’t allowed there after 6 pm. I’m sorry that trying to meet up for lunch revolves around my child’s nap time when we’re getting ready to go on a 6 hour road trip, and he won’t sleep in the car. I’m sorry that we have to leave your house halfway through a movie because 9 pm is his witching hour. I’m sorry we don’t have any family close by to babysit so we can go downtown on a Saturday night. I’m sorry our whole world is the baby now…
Actually no. I’m not sorry for that.
Because someday, someday you might have a baby. And you may realize that everything we’re doing is normal for new parents, and you’ll be apologizing to us for not understanding it. Someday it may be you that leaves by 8 pm because there is NO WAY witching hour can start in the car when the baby needs to be home and being rocked by 9 pm.
Someday it may be you.
And we’ll be on the other side of it, and we’ll understand.
Just one more thing…
Thank you for still being our friends. Please don’t stop texting us and inviting us over. I promise we will say yes!
As long as the baby’s had a nap, and we can be done by 8.
[…] only been a parent for five and a half years, but it’s hard to remember what life was like before our daughter. I did things, had good times (and bad), and was as carefree as a married woman with a mortgage […]
[…] Being a mother to young children adds an additional layer of difficulty in building friendships. As any mama knows, our time is scarce and we are often frazzled. Making the time to invest in others feels next to impossible at this stage of life. Oftentimes, we might not even be as dependable as we’d like to be because—simply put—the kids come first, and they still need a lot at this young age. […]