When you’re young, jealousy is normal. Your frenemy gets a new bike, or your BFF starts dating your crush, and you find yourself in the midst of a huge swirl of emotion. You grow, you learn, and you move on. As a grown up, the feeling of jealousy has a deeper meaning and can be a lot more difficult to move on from.
Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE my life. I consider myself very lucky. My family is close, loving (albeit self-described dysfunctional and a whole lotta crazy), everyone is healthy, and all in all, there isn’t anything major that I would change. But that doesn’t mean things are always easy. Money gets tight, babies don’t sleep, and sometimes it seems like everyone around you has it better off. It’s especially noticeable with social media being as rampant as it is these days. Every time you log in, someone’s getting engaged/married/pregnant/eating a better donut than you. (disclaimer: aside from the donut, I’ve done all of those things, and I’m sorry if I’ve over-shared… Also, I’m pretty sure I definitely posted about the donut.)
As much as you may love your life, it’s hard not to get a twinge of jealousy when others around me have good things happen to them when you’re struggling. It’s even harder when you feel like it’s someone that doesn’t deserve it. For example, I have an old ‘friend’ (currently only a virtual friend) who isn’t really a nice person. She’s blunt to the point of being rude and has said horrible things to myself and my husband over the years. She just got engaged (for the second time, to an equally not-nice guy), has had her mothers business handed down to her, and just moved into a brand new house. She flaunts it all over the innernets—and quite frankly—I’m more than a little jealy (sorry, I had to). She even called me a few weeks ago “to ask how we were” and spent the vast majority of the 20 minute conversation telling me how great her life is and how expensive her home and engagement ring were. It’s hard not to let the green-eyed monster take over—especially when you work hard and feel like the sh*t keeps hitting the fan for you while things keep coming up daisies for others.
When I voiced my frustration to my husband, his response was “well, would you want HER life?” The answer is simple—it’s a flat out “no way.” Her life definitely isn’t perfect below the surface…and I know it. There are several aspects of her life that I would NEVER want to deal with. Plus, I’m proud of where we are, as trying as it can be at times. I wouldn’t trade my life for anyone else’s. Ever. I know that our difficulties are minimal, and many, MANY other people struggle much more than we do… We’re a blip on the scale of the whole world—a teeny, tiny blip. And I get that. That’s part of the reason that feeling jealous drives me nuts. I know that we’re fine—even better than fine. Do I wish there was more money/fewer bills? Yes. Do I wish we didn’t have to work so hard? Maybe. But would I ever in a million years trade what I have? No Way. Never. Ever. Sometimes you just have to let the monster run its course and work it’s way out. Never forget to be grateful for what you have, and when your friend calls to tell you about her giant new house and the ten pounds she lost by only eating those delicious donuts she’s been posting? Nod and smile. Remember, she’s got loads of gray hair under that dye job…
Just kidding. Kinda.
