Shortly after we moved into our new home, I had a sign created for our entryway. It simply reads “grace upon grace upon grace”. This serves as a daily reminder for me—and for my family—that we need to be gracious with one another—and with ourselves. We will mess up. We will fall short. We will get on each other’s nerves. We will hurt one another. This is inevitable. It’s what we do with it that matters.
During this time, when the world feels a little crazy and our lives have been turned upside down, it’s especially important that we are offering up this grace-filled attitude in heaping buckets to both our loved ones and ourselves. We are stuck at home, in close proximity with our family members for days on end, with no specific end-date in sight. And this means tempers have the potential to flare, tantrums can abound, tears may fall more readily, and emotions may be heightened overall.
Grace upon grace upon grace.
We are all trying our best to cope with circumstances that are completely out of our control, and that we were completely unprepared for any of it. Even if someone had told us a year ago that this would be our reality today, I don’t think we would have fully grasped what that meant. How could we have? This is unlike anything we have ever experienced.
Personally, I am trying to be extra kind to myself. I am trying to be gracious with those I love. As an homage to grace-filled living, I decided to share 10 Quarantine Confessions with you. Maybe you can relate?
10 Quaratine Confessions from A Mom Trying Her Best When The World Feels Wonky
- On average, I wash my hair once a week. Twice if I’m feeling really fancy.
- My oldest two are staying up way too late and sleeping in longer than I knew possible. The only time I wake them up? To watch church on Sunday morning. Other than that, I let them sleep. One is officially a teenager and the other is right on the edge, and they need the rest. Plus, when are we going to have a time like this again? Our busy lives will return. For now, sleep.
- On week three, I realized I was drinking more wine at night than I was before and that I could be on a slippery slope. Am I still partaking? You betcha. Just not nightly.
- I struggle with anxiety, and one of my great fears has been a pandemic. Strange, but true. I never watch pandemic movies because they freak me out. I think part of this fear is that three out of four of my children have asthma and other lung issues, and we spent a lot of time in the ER when they were younger. I am learning that sometimes things happen and we are forced to face our fears. In doing so, we learn we are braver than we ever knew.
- Because of my propensity toward anxiety, and that mega-fear of a pandemic I was talking about, I only allow myself small doses of the news. I learned early on that watching it in large doses was doing nothing for me — other than causing me to want to drink more wine. See number 3. Watching the news now is kind of like watching a pandemic movie. Only it’s real. Enough said.
- I like seeing my friends and family members on Zoom, but lately, it feels like a little much. I know we are missing each other, but how can we be present in our homes if we are always connecting with people on screens? I don’t want to look back on this time and regret not being with my family members because I spent too much time on calls. Sometimes I feel like we have all of this space and don’t know what to do with it, so we are trying to fill it up again. The calls are positive and important because they keep us in touch with our loved ones, but I feel like if I’m not careful we could easily fill up our evenings again — and I am not ready for that.
- Every day I sleep in until at least 8. Sometimes 9. On the weekends? Maybe even a little later. My kids are older now, so this is a luxury I can partake in. For those of you with little ones, you will get there someday. I promise.
- I wear pajamas and sweatpants. A lot. Pretty much exclusively. It’s amazing.
- My kids are on devices more than they used to be. Their big thing right now is playing Super Mario on the old Wii we just hooked up. And I’m totally okay with it. I spent so many hours playing Super Marios on the original Nintendo. Yes, I am dating myself. Yes, I’m okay with that. My friends spent a lot of hours playing it, too. We remember that time in our lives very fondly, and I don’t think any of us were scarred from it.
- Even though these days have been challenging, I can see so many blessings coming from this time at home together. When the calendar was stripped bare, and we were all forced to stay home, priorities shifted. The kids are each other’s only playmates. Do they fight sometimes? Sure. But ultimately, they are growing closer. I am spending more time in prayer. My husband and I are loving each other well. It’s been hard, but it’s been good. We will come to the other side of this. Our lives will return, but for now I have a unique opportunity, in this space, to be with the ones I love. And that is what I am clinging to.
So there you have it. That’s my at-home life in a nutshell right now. I have lists of projects and things I want to do. Sometimes I get to them, and sometimes I don’t. I have days when I’m intentional with the kids and my husband and days when I take multiple baths just so I can have a moment of peace and quiet. I don’t know what the future holds, and I have no control over it. But I can try my best today. I can be kind to myself, kind to those around me, and gracious when things don’t go as I had hoped.