Mommy Guilt Expressed Through Haiku

My mommy guilt began almost the minute I became pregnant. I felt guilty over a glass of wine. I felt guilty for drinking caffeinated beverages or eating questionable cheese. I felt guilty for being uncertain as to whether or not I would love my child as much as my dogs. (I do.) I felt guilty for not even considering natural childbirth. Then he was born, and a whole new slew of mommy guilt took over. I felt guilty for not being able to nurse successfully in the beginning and having to rely on supplementation. I felt (and still feel) guilty for not soaking up every moment because I was just too tired. Now he is 2, and the guilt shows no sign of letting up. I suffer daily guilt for allowing my son to watch too much television and use a tablet, for letting him eat pizza and grilled cheese instead of insisting on all organic fruits and vegetables all the time, and for getting sucked into my iPhone and not noticing that he is tugging at my pants. I am guilty of scheduling every. single. appointment with his pediatrician at least one month late. I forget to brush his teeth twice a day more than I would like to admit. I know I should get in shape and feel guilty for letting myself go. But if I were to go to the gym, I would feel way too guilty for putting my shy child in childcare. So I don’t bother trying and just keep paying the YMCA every month. I even feel guilty every time I sit down to write a post because he seems to demand my attention in these moments more than any other.

As a means of creatively expressing my mommy guilt in a silly, light-hearted way, I have taken to using the Japanese form of poetry know as the haiku. In case you don’t know, a haiku is a three-line poem consisting of five syllables, then seven, then five again.

Here are seven of my recent haikus. Enjoy!

Am I a good mom?
I don’t make homemade playdough
Or sensory bowls 

Before you were born
I swore there’d be no TV
So much for that plan 

Time for our playdate
Dirty clothes piled to the sky
Which are least stinky? 

You don’t want veggies
So I let you eat grilled cheese
Goldfish and cookies 

When you take your nap
I know I should be cleaning
So I go to sleep 

Wait just a second
Did I brush your teeth today?
And did I brush mine? 

Oh, stupid smartphone
Why can’t I just put you down?
You are the devil

I encourage you all to try and create your own guilty seventeen syllables and share them with all of us here at Nashville Moms Blog. Who knows—maybe we will get a crazy book deal!