Passionate About the Community
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Mother’s Day versus Father’s Day :: Expectations versus Reality

I try to stay on top of things like birthdays and important celebrations. I order gifts early — so they will arrive to their intended recipient before the special date. For Mother’s Day this year, I made sure to order my mom, stepmom, and mother-in-law sweet photo collages of our baby girl. I bought nice cards and handed one card to my husband to sign for his mom. The cards and gifts made it to the post office a week early to ensure all the moms in our life got their gifts prior to Mother’s Day. I made brunch reservations for my mom two weeks early.

It was not until l I complimented my mother-in-law on shoes she was wearing, and she asked if I would like a pair for Mother’s Day, that I remembered that this year Mother’s Day would celebrate me too. As a new mom, I sometimes forget that I am a mom. I love being a mom. Don’t get me wrong. I just still have those “this is crazy, I cannot believe I’m a mom” moments.

Once it dawned on me that I was to be celebrated this year, I started daydreaming. I had visions of sleeping in, being served breakfast in bed, and maybe getting a massage gift card. But I didn’t sleep late. My hungry three month old baby woke me up at 5:15 a.m. Also? No breakfast in bed. I actually cooked breakfast for my husband and I since the aforementioned brunch reservations were not until 1:45 p.m. Finally? No massage gift card. An amazon package arrived on our porch at around noon on Mother’s Day. The contents included a wine glass that said “Mommy’s Little Helper” and some scented hand lotion. I don’t use scented hand lotion.

Needless to say, the last minute gifts did not exactly thrill me. I try to be grateful, I do. But I also want to be acknowledged for all the things I do for our family. I was treated by other family members for my first Mother’s Day. My brother sent me two dozen roses! My stepmom gave me the sweetest “Mommy and Me” picture frame. And my mother in law did get me the shoes I liked. I also got cards from lots of other family and friends. However, it is nice to feel like your spouse really appreciates you, right?

I would like to say that I won’t make reservations for my husband for Father’s Day. But I know that I will. I don’t want to get stuck eating at Waffle House. (Although my husband would be totally fine with that!) Worse, I don’t want to be stuck cooking.

No doubt, I will order my husband a gift (two weeks early) because I am thoughtful and want him to know I appreciate him. Also, I want my own dad to know how much I love and appreciate him. Appropriate plans will be made. I honestly hope my husband and father feel loved and appreciated. In truth, I want all the “Dads” in my life to feel on Father’s Day the way I wanted to feel on Mother’s Day. My husband will most likely sleep in. In fact, I guarantee he will take advantage of “his” day to relax and let me wait on him hand and foot.

Maybe I should taper my expectations? My husband is not a planner, nor a great gift giver. Maybe I should just revel in the fact that I’m a good planner and gift giver?

I’m not saying moms are better than dads . . . but . . . maybe I am.

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