It’s no secret that my husband and I are vastly different human beings. So, of course, we have different styles when it comes to planning date night.
When we were young college kids, it didn’t really matter kind of date we did, we just looooved being together and getting off campus. Now that I’m a stay-at-home ad homeschooling mom of three kiddos, my ideal date includes dinner out at a place that has very few kids, followed by a quiet stop at a bookstore or coffeehouse for dessert, and then maybe a few errand stops on the way home so I can cross some things off my list without dragging all three kiddos with me. My ideal date wasn’t always like that. But for this season of my life, I’m not ashamed to admit it — despite how boring it may sound. I get very little time away from my kids. So when I’m away from them, I prefer quiet and calm.
My husband? A different story. Of course.
He wants adventure and activity. He wants to try ethnic restaurants and do energetic things like high ropes courses, disc golf, or canoeing the Harpeth. All these things sound great in theory. But to be quite honest? I’m worn out with life. I desperately crave some time away from the madness of my home. And that time needs to include quietness. But that sounds like slow torture to The Hubs. We’ve been in this parenting business for seven years. And we’ve finally found a dating formula that works for us (when we actually do it).
We take turns every other month planning date night. Some people date weekly. Although I love the idea of that, my wallet and calendar can’t make that happen right now. So we aim for a night out once a month. Switching up date planning duties helps us both be happy and fulfilled with our time away from the kids. And we’ve learned to appreciate the other’s dating preferences as well.
If that’s too much hassle, we’ve also been known to combine our styles when time isn’t on our side. For example, we’ve gone to a coffeehouse and taken games with us. So we get our dessert (yay to me!) and play games (yay to The Hubs) instead of sitting and pondering our life together. It’s a win-win. We’ve also done a high ropes course and taken clothes to change into afterward — so we can eat at a “fine dining establishment.” I love dressing up, and The Hubs likes activity. So that date was another win-win for us.
Whatever your dating style may be, it’s important to make sure you’re meeting the needs of both people in the relationship. It keeps you more connected and gives you more opportunities to create special memories together.
It’s also important to take the time to date your spouse. It’s no secret that parenting is hard, long, exhausting work. It takes it’s toll on us as individuals—and on our marriage. That’s why you have to make sure you’re making time for just the two of you . . . away from the kids.