Being a mom is tough. Judgement and guilt comes with the title. I mean, work or stay home? Formula or breastfeed? Homeschool, private or public school? Cry-it-out or co-sleeping? Spanking or hands free? Induced, medicated, or natural delivery? The choices we mommas have to make are crazy and endless. And such feelings of regret and failure often follow those choices.
I have three littles that I’m responsible for shaping into kind, functioning members of society. Ladies…I’m in charge of three little beings on a daily basis! And I have to teach them how to be successful, healthy adults?! This isn’t a cake walk. It’s more like a belly crawl through thick mud that takes years and years to muddle through. And once I make it through the thick mud? I’ll still second-guess myself. It’s what we do.
How many of us feel like mom failures on a regular basis? (Both of my hands are raised.) From little things like making my three-year-old pick up her toys (causing a complete meltdown) to big things like explaining why we don’t call others names (no matter how mad you are) — I question if I’m doing it right. On so many days, I crawl into bed at midnight, completely exhausted and trying to give myself a pep talk to wake up and do it all over again in six hours.
But on those days, when I feel like a complete failure? There’s one thing I can consistently rely on to turn it around (98% of the time, anyway). We all have our “mom thing” at which we excel. Some of us are crafty and love making things with our kids. Others enjoy getting out in the yard and kicking a soccer ball with our kiddos. Maybe your thing is a dance party. Or getting down on the floor and legitimately playing with your kids. My “thing” is reading to my kids. I’ve done it since Kid 1 was three days old. I read to them every single day.
So when my day is going to you-know-where? I take a step back from the attitude problems, grab a book, gather the kids around me, and start reading. My home is filled with books. So we’re never in short supply of finding something to read. And we always have a bag of library books by the front door.
I’ve found that things can quickly turn around when I read to my kids. There are other things that I’m really, really not good at as a mom. I don’t pretend to be the Martha Stewart of mothers. I can’t. My kids would quickly point out all my flaws. But I can always go back to “my thing” and use that whenever I need to fix our day.
And you have a thing too! What do you really love to do with your kids? That’s your thing! And you’re awesome at it! Whatever your thing is, claim it and rock with it. We mommas struggle way too much with feelings of inadequacy, guilt, failure and judgment. So let’s wave our banner high with our accomplishments! Because that’s what makes you a winner in your kids eyes.
And really, their eyes are the only ones that truly matter, right?
