Something about becoming a mother makes you immediately think that you should also become Superwoman. I’m not sure if it’s growing another human inside our bodies or the fact that most of us survive on zero sleep, but something causes us to decide we sprouted a cape and an invisible airplane. (This is a Wonder Woman reference for those of you who are confused.) Now we should be perfectly capable of keeping a clean house, overflowing our bank account. All while cultivating happy children with perfectly monogrammed clothes, perfect friendships, a million followers on Instagram, and preparing meals that would impress Ina Garten.
I don’t know if it’s the estrogen, the oxytocin, the coffee, or all of the above. But we are believing a lie.
We cannot do it all.
Sometimes, we can’t even do most of that. AND THAT IS OKAY. Husband sitting on the couch while you cook dinner and wrangle the kids? Ask him to help you. Carrying a giant load of laundry down the hall? Ask for help. You NEED to get out of the house because your kids (or the color of your kitchen cabinets) are driving you crazy? Ask your friends or mother or in-laws to watch the kids. Say yes when someone offers you a date night or a break.
Not only does this lessen your load, it also shows the people in your life that you love them enough to let them see the messy parts of your life. Asking for help makes you vulnerable. That scares most of us, but that vulnerability (with the right people) builds stronger bonds in friendship and marriage.